Continuing on with the subject of communicating, and how complex it is, a woman whose friendship I value brought a book to show me this morning. It's a well-known book about how attitudes can influence physical health. It reviews the author's experience with 'curing' herself from catastrophic illness and lists many illnesses, aches and pains along with the negative thought patterns that contribute to them, as well as the positive affirmations that she recommends to alleviate/cure them. Years ago, I studied this a bit, as well as other books on the subject, and certainly believe that thoughts control more of everything, including our health, than we realize, let alone try to mold, most of the time. Some people probably best characterized as "extreme devotees" take it so far as to believe that all illness is caused by bad attitudes, and I do not agree with that or like that idea and its implications. Does a person's attitude control a car crashing into him and breaking his arm or leg? Is having a skin reaction to poison oak a choice? Is a bursting appendix a result of bad thoughts? I DO accept that many illnesses are brought on or worsened by our attitudes. I do NOT believe that we cause, or fail to cause, everything that happens to our bodies or our immediate environment. And I DO believe that we control how we react to everything.

Anyway, this morning my friend brought this book to show me and I took one look at it and said "Oh, I don't like that book". Hard to believe, I know, but, gee, she was frustrated and even a little upset by my reaction. She said my response seemed to say that was that and the discussion was closed, that if I didn't like it, it's not worthwhile. Since on the contrary, I would have loved to discuss it, my reaction was to think she was being over-sensitive. After all, I'd read and thought about and discussed that book and others like it for years. And I had a friend who died from cancer and felt that this book implied a bad attitude and "giving in" was the reason. So I have 'issues' with the book. Of course, duh, how was she to know any of that since I didn't say it? My blunt unexplained response had been unkind, inconsiderate and incommunicative. She'd meant to share something that interests her and I seemed to reject it and her interest. And yet I love energetic discussions, especially about things that matter. So here's to understanding ourselves, being clear, saying what we mean and meaning what we say, and learning how to talk and communicate.

Labels: people, reflections