Monday, August 22, 2005
Mother questions
Some questions to which I truly would like answers (read all - don't assume you know where I'm going).
— Does the context of a child's death change (minimize or enlarge) its tragedy for his or her parents?Update. Related post and comments at The Fly Bottle.
— After his first tour of duty, Casey Sheehan chose to re-enlist. It is logical to assume he knew that he might be killed by returning to fight in Iraq.
— Natalee Holloway chose to take a senior class trip to Aruba to party hearty. Is it logical to assume that taking a silly trip will result in being kidnapped or killed?
— Does the seriousness of Casey Sheehan's choice elevate his death above Natalee Holloway's?
— Does the frivolity of Natalee Holloway's choice diminish her death and make it less horrifying?
— Does either mother deserve our respect and attention more or less than the other?
— Does the sober context of Sheehan's death validate his mother's thoughts and words and make her more profound or meritorious?
— Does the party context of Holloway's death invalidate her mother's thoughts and words and make her less reflective or meritorious?
— Many people listen to Mrs Sheehan's comments as if they are pearls of wisdom even when she contradicts her own written statements; why?
— Many have praised Bob Costas for refusing to anchor a show that would spend time talking with Mrs Twitty about her daughter's disappearance in Aruba; why?
— Do Cindy Sheehan and Beth Twitty both deserve our respect and sympathy?
— Should we react differently to either death?
— Is either mother's loss greater, or more tragic, than the other's?
— Does a mother's sorrow and grief automatically endow her with wisdom of thought and speech?
Permalink | 
| posted by jau at 5:52 PM
Peggy — at 2:14 PM, August 23, 2005:
jau — at 4:59 PM, August 23, 2005:
Zardra — at 7:21 PM, August 23, 2005:
jau — at 9:41 AM, August 24, 2005:
Zardra — at 6:18 PM, August 24, 2005:
| posted by jau at 5:52 PM
6 more:
Peggy — at 2:14 PM, August 23, 2005:
That first line of my comment is along the lines of a prince and pauper type analogy - the families of both individuals grieve just as strongly and deeply. Station, walk, choices, etc really have no influence on personal grief. Sadly, it does seem that society (in general) grieves that way though.
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jau — at 4:59 PM, August 23, 2005:
I like your "prince and pauper" reference. If Natalee and Casey were suddenly switched with each other, would each life instantly be more or less valuable? I think you're right that there is no intrinsic greater or lesser worth for anyone and yet doesn't it seem that society values and gives more attention and regret to some than others?
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Zardra — at 7:21 PM, August 23, 2005:
Does a mother's sorrow and grief automatically endow her with wisdom of thought and speech?
I don't think that a child's death automatically endows a mother with wisdom, but there are many cases where the parents of a child that has died in an avoidable situation have chosen to speak out in the hopes to prevent other families from experiencing the same heartache. I think Cindy Sheehan has as much right to speak out against the war that caused her son's death as Polly Klaas's father does to speak out against the system that released a known child molester, or more recently, the CA parents that have become activists against steriod use in high schools after the death of their son.
I don't think that a child's death automatically endows a mother with wisdom, but there are many cases where the parents of a child that has died in an avoidable situation have chosen to speak out in the hopes to prevent other families from experiencing the same heartache. I think Cindy Sheehan has as much right to speak out against the war that caused her son's death as Polly Klaas's father does to speak out against the system that released a known child molester, or more recently, the CA parents that have become activists against steriod use in high schools after the death of their son.
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jau — at 9:41 AM, August 24, 2005:
Liz - I don't disagree that Cindy Sheehan has the right to speak out but doesn't Beth Twitty also have the right to speak out about a legal and police system that has been ineffective, at best, and obstructionist, at worst? Why is one more or less worth hearing?
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Zardra — at 6:18 PM, August 24, 2005:
Liz - I don't disagree that Cindy Sheehan has the right to speak out but doesn't Beth Twitty also have the right to speak out about a legal and police system that has been ineffective, at best, and obstructionist, at worst? Why is one more or less worth hearing?
Is that what Beth Twitty is trying to speak out about? (I have to admit not being very familiar with the case.) If it is, then she can talk as long as there are people willing to listen... but I think people are tired of hearing about this case due to many reasons -- no new leads, general tiredness of hearing of pretty white women who go missing (we had major Peterson overkill here, quite glad when the trial was finally over), etc.
I also think that these days most people consider anything associated with the war to be more important... Cindy Sheehan has put a face on the anti-war movement... a moral ideal. Beth Twitty is simply a mother who lost her daughter through individual treachery... something that happens everyday, everywhere in the country.
I'm not saying it's right that one mother gets attention over the other, but the media is going to go with what it thinks people want to hear.
Is that what Beth Twitty is trying to speak out about? (I have to admit not being very familiar with the case.) If it is, then she can talk as long as there are people willing to listen... but I think people are tired of hearing about this case due to many reasons -- no new leads, general tiredness of hearing of pretty white women who go missing (we had major Peterson overkill here, quite glad when the trial was finally over), etc.
I also think that these days most people consider anything associated with the war to be more important... Cindy Sheehan has put a face on the anti-war movement... a moral ideal. Beth Twitty is simply a mother who lost her daughter through individual treachery... something that happens everyday, everywhere in the country.
I'm not saying it's right that one mother gets attention over the other, but the media is going to go with what it thinks people want to hear.
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I know what I'm trying to say and am hoping that it came across somewhat accurately. Very good questions. I'd be interested to hear answers too.
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