Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Niceness
If you would be so kind as to contribute your thought and opinion, rare dear reader, what do you think is of greater relative importance or lack thereof: being pleasant and nice to people with whom you are talking or working or conveying knowledge and stating your opinions clearly? Would your choice change if you knew that asserting your ideas or opinions would probably upset others? Would your choice change if withholding your knowledge or opinions would make you feel frustrated and uncomfortable? Do you think an "underdog" always trumps an "overdog" in the sense that hurt feelings should be avoided at all costs? Do you think there is ever a time when it's all right to risk hurting other people's feelings or do you think that is the ultimate trump card?

Labels: ,

Permalink | | posted by jau at 2:24 PM


3 more:
Anonymous Anonymous — at 10:52 PM, August 30, 2005:
Since you asked....I suppose it would depend most on whether your opinion was sought, and what your purpose is in sharing your opinion. If someone is specifically curious about your point of view, or seeking further input to validate/inform/test/compare their own, fire away. If they're likely to be hurt or upset, well, it's kind of their fault for asking.

But if your objective can better be described as protect/correct/"save"/steer, I would tread lightly, and know your audience. And remember that meaningful, lasting influence will not likely come from words alone. It comes as much from listening and establishing trust as it does from any words you will say. If you're doing those things, I daresay you're much less likely to hurt someone's feelings.

Then there's just being "nice" and getting along. Most interactions every day, with all but your closest associates, friends and family probably don't get a chance to get that weighty and in my mind there's something to be said for common ground and smooth functioning, particularly in workplaces (you do want to feel like heading there every morning). If someone's really putting something out there, in words or deeds, that you can't help but react to, but without having met either of the two conditions above themselves, then something's amiss; either keep moving (or duck!) or test the waters for the possibility of meaningful dialogue or interaction before you dive in.
 

< home >

Blogger jau — at 2:40 PM, August 31, 2005:
Thanks for the thoughtful comments!
 

< home >

Blogger jau — at 12:53 PM, September 02, 2005:
Sam - Interesting thoughts. Wouldn't it be cool if people could offer opinions and ideas pleasantly and without anger, and without fear of offending or getting "in trouble"?
 

< home >


Post a Comment

< home