Monday, December 25, 2006
gift giving
Gift giving this year has been more irritating to me than usual, as I keep saying. In my younger days, I gave presents that I hoped would demonstrate how clever I was about "getting" the recipient's character and/or wishes, and would also, as a logical byproduct, get people like me or even love me more. The unavoidable consequence, over the years, was that then I had to live up to being a perceptive and generous gift-giver, so the pressure got worse. Now I'm feeling resentful about spending so much money and time on gifts for people who probably won't be per- or dis- suaded from their feelings about me by these superficial means.
Alan Sullivan at Seablogger writes about this subject that
Alan Sullivan at Seablogger writes about this subject that
The custom of gift-giving at Christmas has a curious psychology, if you stop to think about it. After all, the infant incarnation is a divine gift to humankind. When we give gifts in commemoration, we arrogate to ourselves the role of God. No wonder people get stressed by holiday preparations.I want to learn to give fewer gifts and to care less about their effect. It's not easy.
How people handle the gift dilemma says a great deal about their character. The loving choose gifts that fulfill wishes of recipients, rightly or wrongly perceived. Controllers give what they think the recipient ought to want. The self-obsessed give what matters to them. The selfish opt out.
Post a Comment