Bush causes all the big problems, so they say. Illegal aliens, poor voter mood, melting ice in the Arctic due to global warming and, of course, his own low approval rating largely due to the war in Iraq, just to name a recent few. I've been skeptical that he had such a long powerful arm, but a friend and I talked yesterday and now I see that he causes the problems and benefits from them. Cagey devil.

Aliens: Do you remember that Bush wanted a slightly unusual version of an immigration bill? Sort of an amnesty program, some said. Odd, right? Well, not when you realize it was the first piece of his summer plan. He had to hire lots of people who would willingly work really hard under uncomfortable conditions. He wanted to have them be legal workers but since no one would go along with his plan to legalize the immigrants, he had to hire lots of illegals. Global warming effects: The workers were sent in those huge transport planes that can hold tanks and planes and still look empty, to Greenland and the Arctic Circle. They melted huge chunks of ice (which the global warming followers saw and got frantic about). They poured the recovered water into space-age receptacles snagged from NASA (the receptacles use fancy schmancy technology to create condensed blocks of ice from water and will be used to get drinking water and irrigation plants on other planets). Then the frozen blocks were loaded onto the transport planes. Voter mood: The frozen blocks were flown to New York City and, under cover of night when so few observant people are around, they sliced open various streets and tunnels and deposited the blocks of ice in among pipes, drains and other subterranean what-nots underneath the streets. You may remember the explosion on 41st St. a couple of weeks ago; that was when one of the ice blocks slipped out of someone's (obviously incompetent) hands but fortunately that seems to have been the only thing that went awry. And, needless to say, the person with the careless hands has 'disappeared' which is why, disgruntled though he or she may be, nothing has come out about it. Results: All they had to do then was wait for some really heavy rain. It being August and the Northeast, that was bound to happen sooner rather than later, as it does every summer, but THIS TIME there was no room in the drains or in the space under the streets, so subway tracks flooded and chaos resulted. P.S.: Halliburton funded the enterprise, of course, paying excellent salaries to the workers, as well as their families, and supplying all the equipment.

So. Has anyone talked about Iraq the last week or so? Are people hanging in there, working and getting through, together? Has the President's approval rating gone up? I rest my case.

Labels: headlines, reflections, silliness